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About Me Member Deviant of Many Talents barnacle-of-doom18/Female/United Kingdom Recent Activity Deviant for 5 Years
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The Price of Happiness...?

Mon Oct 5, 2009, 8:59 AM
  • Mood: Miserable
  • Listening to: Vanessa Carlton
  • Reading: Twilight
I'm not sure anyone truly knows how much I would give to be like everyone else - and please, no smart comments about how if we were all the same life would be boring. If I could just be a few inches taller, that would be awesome, and if I could sort out a few other things I'm not sure everyone else sees that would be great too. Of course, how can you do this? Via radical things like cosmetic surgery and growth hormones, neither of which I fully agree with but...if it could give the confidence I need and maybe finally I could look on the outside how I feel on the inside...is it worth it? Worth all the risk? Discomfort? Pain? The thought of staying how I am now though is not appealing either.

Whilst in Italy I met a guy I liked, nearly twice my age but that was ok. I don't know if he felt the same way - he didn't know I was 19 for a lot of the time and I realised how much I wanted to stand next to him and feel like his equal, I wanted to be able to see eye to eye with him...I want to be part of a crowd and not feel like the odd one out, the one with all the problems and as I am now I felt so unworthy of him.

So..what do I do? Right now I'm compelled to take that full time job and save up for, well...a procedure. I have a consulation next week and I want to see what they can do for me, I want answers. At least then with that knowledge I can consider it and weigh it all up. A lot of people think this is a sudden outburst - that's not it at all. I'm just really good at hiding things. The truth of it is that I've been thinking about this for years right from when I became aware of how different I am to everyone, and now I'm facing 20 and the hope of having a sudden growth spurt is closing rapidly. What's wrong with me?

deviantID

Devious Info

  • Current Residence: The United Kingdom
  • deviantWEAR sizing preference: 6
  • Interests: Art (of course, theatre, manga and anime, Japan, books and music
  • Favourite movie: Too many to count...
  • Favourite band or musician: G'n'R, Led Zeppelin, Aerosmith, Gackt, Stevie Wonder, Cream, Led Zeppelin, Feist and Duffy
  • Favourite genre of music: Rock, j-rock, j-pop and some other things
  • Favourite artist: don't really have one...
  • Favourite poet or writer: Too many...
  • Favourite style of art: Manga mostly, and photomanipulation (fashion and glamour)
  • Operating System: Vista
  • MP3 player of choice: Samsung YP-U2
  • Favourite game: Final Fantasy 7
  • Favourite gaming platform: PC - don't have any others!
  • Personal Quote: He's rather scrummy!
  • Tools of the Trade: Mechanical pencil, Bristol Broad paper, coloured pencils, multi-liners, copic markers, digi camera

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Comments


:iconleadingman:
Thankies for the fav! :D

:hug:

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“No matter how many times I tell you she'll break you heart, or how many times she does it, you'll never give up, Why you ask?...because you love her".
:iconamyfushigiyugi:
Thanks for the fav !!!

Hugs till u turn blue

Amy ^_^

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The Guardian Heart Crystal Series
:iconleadingman:
Thanks for all the comments on my photos Jess. :)
I do have to admit though the one with the Sheep in, the whole picture was near enough green. All i did was mess about with the Hue, Gamma and Saturation. lol
xx

--
“No matter how many times I tell you she'll break you heart, or how many times she does it, you'll never give up, Why you ask?...because you love her".
:iconleadingman:
Hello!!!!!!!!! :D
xx

--
“No matter how many times I tell you she'll break you heart, or how many times she does it, you'll never give up, Why you ask?...because you love her".
:iconbarnacle-of-doom:
Hi!!!
xx

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Apparently I'm supposed to be some kind of literary genius...instead I'm a cynic.
:iconleadingman:
Yo Yo Yo! lol

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“No matter how many times I tell you she'll break you heart, or how many times she does it, you'll never give up, Why you ask?...because you love her".
:iconbagamol:
what up.
Hey, whats going on? 23/female.. come chat with me on this website CLICK HERE
:iconbarnacle-of-doom:
I got the same message again. Here it is as follows:
what up.
Hey, whats going on? 23/female.. come chat with me on this website CLICK HERE

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Apparently I'm supposed to be some kind of literary genius...instead I'm a cynic.
:iconbagamol:
Thats the same as on community websites. That's like the advertising or smth like that. So its doesn't matter if I change password or not, it still gonna happen...
:iconbarnacle-of-doom:
Aw, damn. That's annoying, I keep getting them and they clog up my message bank.

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Apparently I'm supposed to be some kind of literary genius...instead I'm a cynic.

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